The Great Effectiveness Of Cancer Survivor Networks

A great write-up and guest post from a new friend of mine; a teammate in the fight against cancer. Thanks to Mr. David Haas; please enjoy!

Cancer survivor networks are a wonderful resource for anyone who has been affected by cancer. This goes from those who have just left the doctor with a diagnosis of a rare cancer like mesothelioma to the families of those who are in remission and hoping to stay that way. The American Cancer Society hosts a survivor's network for anyone who has been afflicted.

However, any survivor's network can offer beneficial information to patients and families who are looking to cope with the diagnosis or learn to live after cancer. Another form of network helps families and patients to deal with the cancer and treatment.

For example, not only does the ACS (American Cancer Society) have a survivor's network, but they also have a resource library for those who are fighting the disease right now. There are so many items to consider. Patients have to know how to deal with the side effects of treatment, physical activity during treatment, and even how to eat properly during treatment.

These resources are useful for the families who must take care of cancer patients because nutrition and physical activity are often left up to the family and not the patient. Moreover, knowing all of this extra information can help to make the treatment easier to bear.

Taking this information from a network of family members and patients may offer insight into treatment options that may not have been discussed with a physician. Learning from another family or patient about certain treatment methods can open up new options to patients who are currently having a hard time with treatment. This is also a wonderful way to find referrals for good doctors in your area. Sometimes, the best referral comes from someone who is dealing with cancer and currently working with the doctor they are referring.

Finding all the tools necessary to deal with cancer, help a patient in need, or learn to cope with life after cancer should be done through a network that brings patients and survivors together. Sharing information is one of the best ways that we can fight this insidious disease. Working together can help patients and families from around the globe battle cancer with dignity and grace.

Thanks again David! More guest posts and posts from me to come! God bless all of you fighting the battle against cancer and my prayers to the caretakers and family and friends of those who are fighting!

Love and Peace

Happy holidays everyone. I can tell you that despite the extreme loss our families and friends have experienced this year by the loss of our angel, Rach, we are keeping the faith. While we will all be sad because she isn't with us for this, our first Christmas since she went to be with God, we continue to be picked up by the love surrounding us. I started my holiday leave, which doubles as pre-deployment leave (I go on deployment early next month) last Friday. Let me tell you all how that has gone, and hopefully catch you up since my last post.

In August, I transferred from Ohio, where the Navy was stationing me during my Humanitarian Reassignment due to Rachel's illness and passing, to Mayport, Florida (near Jacksonville). I can't lie to you, it was quite difficult. Making the trip knowing I was going back to an apartment that she never truly got the chance to live in; an abode that contained 99% of the last 7 years of my life with her. Memories (good and sad), realizing I would be going back to work without her support, knowing that I would be alone in my apartment without her companionship; these were all things on my mind as I traveled down. I'm not going to lie; it was daunting. I started to try and date someone; which I thought was going to be okay. I found out that I was not ready in many ways than one. I started to experience some health issues due to depression and anxiety. These issues were made worse by my ship's visit to Norfolk, VA (where Rach and I spent the first half our lives together and actually where we got married - click this link for that story). Things got so bad for me emotionally I had to get my medications adjusted. I was taking 50 mg of Zoloft daily and 1 mg of Xanax as needed. The docs upped my Zoloft to 100 mg daily and changed my Xanax to 1 mg of Ativan as needed. Both changes started to help me feel normal and I am glad to say that I feel so much better emotionally. Things in Jacksonville are going much better.

During my visit to Norfolk, I stopped by the USS Wisconsin to reflect and reminisce about one of the best times of my life. As much pain as I may have experienced being there; the memories of great times there warmed me up a bit. Still, I was a bit upset. I decided one night to go out and stay at a hotel in downtown Norfolk. While staying there I decided to go shopping at the McArthur Center Mall in downtown. I went to the Barnes & Noble bookstore in there and while holding back tears, bought a book written by the "medium" made famous by the NBC TV show "Medium", Allison DuBois. The book was called "We Are Their Heaven". I spent the entire night at the hotel reading this book and bawling my eyes out over some of the stories people which Allison shared in this book. I used to be quite cynical, until Rachel's passing. Reading this book really interested me in this woman; so much, in fact, that I felt compelled to go see a seminar of her's down in Orlando. It was really beautiful and I made a few good friends there. I'm actually getting a personal reading via phone from her and I'm excited to hear what she has to say.

I started my leave last Friday, and it has truly been a treat. Spending some quality time with my Dad, my Grandparents, and multitudes of family and friends was just what the doctor ordered. I bought my father a laptop and finally got him into the 21st century! It made me feel good to do that for him. I found Rachel's last painting at the apartment, I matted and framed it, and gave it to them for Christmas. I spent some time with Rachel's nieces, who are little angels in their own right. I went to a Cleveland Cavaliers game; and the ticket I bought were in the 1st row behind the basket; and I had a blast! While I was able to spend time with a good number of my family and friends, there were still many who I was unable to visit or meet up with, and I miss and love you all whether or not I was able to see you.

Another thing I have been inspired to do by Rachel and by the support structure I have been surrounded with, thanks to my 3F's (Faith, Family, and Friends), is getting involved with my Catholic and Christian vocation. While on deployment, I will be the ship's Catholic Lay Leader, and will be doing a witness for my hometown Parish, St. Patrick's, for their Men's Renewal. I would love to be able to do so in person, but I will be overseas during the Renewal, so I am going to video it and send it to the team for the event. I hope that I can use my experiences from my life, and especially from this last year, to continue to inspire more people.

As we get closer to this holiday, do something for me; for yourself; for your loved ones. Show them your love any way you can. Tell them, hold them, give in their name, donate your time and talents with them and for them. If you are holding a grudge, contact the person and forgive them. Pray for your enemies. Pray for peace. Pray for love. Pray for each other. I love you all and may your holidays be filled with much love and peace.

Here is video I thought I would share with you all. Some good advice is in it. Enjoy and God Bless.

LIVESTRONG Action Dedication to Rachel

Image via Wikipedia

Hi,

I just dedicated a page to my late spouse Rachel Beasley-Possert at LIVESTRONG Action.

This page is a part of the world's largest dedication book that LIVESTRONG Action will use to pressure world leaders to do more to fight cancer. Can you add your name to my dedication page? It'll only take a second, and you can help me reach my target of 25 dedications. Please click here, it only takes a second:

http://www.livestrongaction.org/dedication/rachel-beasley-possert

Right now, Lance Armstrong is dedicating his ride in the Tour de France to the fight against cancer. And after the race, he'll send this dedication book with your signature to world leaders and pressure them to make cancer a priority in their own countries. It's our best chance to push for better treatment, more funding for cancer research and access to care for everyone around the world.

But if people like us don't stand up, these leaders won't pay attention.

Will you check out my dedication page? Rachel Beasley-Possert inspired me to take action - hopefully they'll inspire you to do the same:

http://www.livestrongaction.org/dedication/rachel-beasley-possert

You all have been amazing. Keep up the fantastic support and know my love and prayers are with all of you no matter where you are or what you are doing! God Bless!!!!

RKP

Inspiration. It's All Around Us.

Yeah. That's right. Why haven't I been blogging more often? Is it because I am limiting myself to the more short-attention span focused mini-blogging sites like Facebook and Twitter? Well, not exactly. Yes, I have been all over them; posting many different things, good, bad, indifferent. What's the common bond between all the things I have been up to everywhere but here lately?

Inspiration.

Let's see. It has been a at least a couple of months since I have posted on here. That doesn't mean I haven't wanted to. I just didn't have the inspiration to actually write an entire entry. The things I have been through in the past few months have all together been some of the most refreshing, spiritual, fulfilling, meaningful, and most of all needed things I've experienced in years. You all know what happened five months ago. You all have seen the transformation in my tone, my personality, and my faith. What could possibly be so inspirational that it takes a human being and changes them so drastically (in a good way)?

As I have wrote in the blog before, the support of literally thousands of people is one of the things that never ceases to amaze me. Now that I have run the gamut of pain, anguish, sadness, etc., and seen how everyone was there for me, I now have seen how everyone responds to those who have gone through what I have. It's like a waterfall. Water keeps falling over the edge, because of gravity, yet it is beautiful. People, without thinking, jump into the act of supporting, consoling, loving someone who needs it. The numero uno most important thing I think God has blessed us with as humans is LOVE. When we start losing our faith, what should we do? How can we get it back? When we are surrounded by hate, death, sin, illness, etc., how can we have faith?

Have you looked in the eyes of your loved one(s) lately? Your children, your husband or wife, your parents, your siblings, your friends? When is the last time you heard the words "I Love You", coming out of their mouth or yours? Have you experienced unconditional love? I have. I don't always need to hear it to know it is there. It's nice, of course, to hear the words, but they are only words. Think about when you were sad for whatever reason, and someone said, "Hey, you okay? You want to talk about it"? Think about the last time you were upset; a funeral, the ending of a relationship, a big move to another city, a lost job...did you have someone offer to help? Did anyone come and hug you or try to make you feel better with a joke or a nice comment? My friends, all of the above is love. We may not be thinking we are giving love to others by doing those simple things, but we are. We inspire each other so much without even knowing it. Isn't that beautiful?

I had a few talks with some good friends on faith. I have also been deep in discussion with a few friends on how to work through problems in your relationships. I always striven for my marriage to Rachel to be inspirational to others. I wanted people to look at how our relationship was and to try and emulate it. Well, of course, that is something now that can only be done by people reading about how we were; of course the folks who have known us throughout or lives and relationship can use their memories of our marriage for guidance. I learned some important things in life through my time on Earth with Rach. I learned that while walking forward you should never turn your back and look behind you, and you should never try and sprint ahead too far into the future. Live in the present and pace yourself. Don't try to hurry through the bad times by looking at the end of them; focus on making the bad times good. Time goes fast when we are having fun because we are not focusing on the end of them. Don't keep score. Don't count how many bad things you have done or what your partner has done. Wipe the board clean every day. God has done that for us. Watch this video on having regrets:



I know sometimes life can be hard. I of all people know that. But, we have so much around us to lean on. We have so much around us to inspire us. We have so many around to be there for us. Use each other when you need to. I'm here for every last one of you. I pray I can inspire each of you like you inspire me.

If It's Hip, It's Here: The Naked Truth About Marc Jacobs' Skin Cancer Awareness Campaign: Who Posed Nude, Where Can You Buy The Shirts & Who Benefits

If It's Hip, It's Here: The Naked Truth About Marc Jacobs' Skin Cancer Awareness Campaign: Who Posed Nude, Where Can You Buy The Shirts & Who Benefits

Updates and Relay Info

I know it has been a few weeks since I have posted (again), and I can tell you that I needed all three weeks to get to where I am now...

A few weeks ago, I was in a bad way. I was anxious all the time. I had Premature Ventricular Contractions (PVC's), which like I said before is just a fancy name for a heart skipping a beat. I felt fatigued, I felt depressed, I felt like I was deteriorating from the inside out. I can't explain how bad I felt inside. I knew I needed to get away. I needed a trip, a vacation; just some time away from everything. Time by myself to reflect on the recent and even not so recent past. Time to spend with friends. Time to spend with family. Time to feel loved. Time to love. Time to cry. Time to console those who are crying. Time to enjoy beautiful weather. Time to golf!

I decided I would go down to Florida for a couple of weeks. I drove down, by myself. Lots of folks offered to be my co-pilot, including my own mom and dad. I knew that God was going to be the only one I wanted as my co-pilot on this trip. No offense to my parents, who I know worry about me daily, but I had a lot to talk to God about; I had lots of questions, lots of confessions, lots of crying to do with Him. I stopped just outside of Charlotte, NC, in a town named Matthews. It's just off I-485 about 15 min. from I-77. Matthews is home to an angel of a friend of mine, Pami, who I needed to visit. It was only a few hours of a visit; she needed to wake up early and I needed to drive again in the morning, so a wonderful talk was cut short. Even though it was cut short, it was needed and worth the time spent. She gave me some very nice gifts upon leaving...one being an audiobook called "The Shack", by W. Paul Young. I went to sleep smiling...

Now normally, I am not big into audiobooks. Heck, the last two times I listened to them, I fell asleep during the first couple of chapters of each! But looking at the subtitle of "The Shack", I saw that it said "Where Tragedy Confronts Eternity". Something about those four words grabbed a hold of me and compelled me to pop it into the cd changer to listen on the drive down to Jacksonville. The book started out kind of dry. I fought through the first chapter or so to really grip what was happening...then...BAM! Wow. It had grabbed me by the short hairs and I was hooked. I identified with the main character, Mack, almost instantly. I put myself in place as I listened to the book play on. I identified with the tragedy of losing someone I loved with all of my heart. I identified with his relationship with God and the premonitions he had. I identified with his anger, his sadness, his DESPAIR...and I cried...sometimes uncontrollably, through my drive to Jacksonville. This book was so powerful to me, I listened to all seven CDs in a row. I got to Jacksonville in my apartment complex a few sentences into the seventh CD. I stayed in my car for an extra hour to finish it. I cannot tell you how moving this book was for me. It was a life changing book, and I am not exaggerating in the least. I recommend it to all of you and I have already bought copies for family and friends, and will buy more to give as the days go on.

So, I sit in my car. Scared. Timid. Nervous. I knew I had to face the sorrow waiting for me, I just didn't know if I could. Part of me just wantd to skip out and continue driving down to my mom's house. But as I sit there, crying, I knew I had to go in. As if the Holy Spirit compelled her, my friend Alyce sent me a text message saying, "Are U ok? Need to talk"? YES! I called her and told her what I was feeling. She told me, calmly and in a relaxing tone, "You go in there when you feel right. You go in there when you feel like you can do it. It doesn't matter if you sit in that care for 15 more minutes or two more hours, just take your time". Wow. I am blessed. You'll hear me say that a few more times in this entry...a half hour later, I work up the courage to go in. I start off in CSI mode; making sure that all items are where they belong and nothing is missing. All seems to be good. Then it hits me. Pictures, memories, overwhelming sadness. I sob uncontrollably. Again, as if compelled, another friend of mine, Sarah, an Ombudsman for my last ship and a wife of a sailor and friend of mine from that ship, text messages me saying "You don't need to be alone, come over and talk". At this point I knew she was right. I went over and spent a few hours talking and crying with her. It was needed. I head back to the apartment, feeling better about things. I stop at Arby's, which at 11:00 PM was still open! Woo-hoo! I watch The Late Show with David Letterman and crawl into bed around midnight. Then BAM! It hits me again. Not having Rach in bed with me is too much to handle. It is the first time I have slept in our bed since she's been gone. I cry to the point I have no tears left. I hold and try to smell her pillow and have trouble breathing; you know how them sobs are? Like the ones when you're a child and you smack your head and you hold your breath and your lips turn purple before you let 'er rip. I cried myself to sleep...not knowing what was in my future. If I would have died in my sleep that night it would have been fine by me.

The next day I drove down to my mom's house. I spent some good times with her and Wade, my step-father. We have a good dinner and I go to a golf show with him...I saw some really cool things there and realized how much I need to work on in my golf game. I suck!!! Good thing is Wade is a golf pro and good teacher. I hope to learn quite a bit from him in the future. I go and visit my friend Christina, who lives in Melbourne, FL. We have a great time; one of the coolest things we do is go to a pottery place where you paint your own item and they cook and cure it for you. We made things for each other. Afterwards we enjoy some good conversation and I got the physical touch and emotional support I needed. She has a great way of relaxing me...and making me feel cared for. After a few days with her, I go to my sister, Devine's house. We have a great time; in the next few days, we go to the Florida Aquarium down in Tampa; we go eat some good food, and have some good conversations. We played MarioKart Wii online against my other brothers and their families. Me and Adam go golfing; he is pissed about shooting a 77, I am lucky to break 110. I got to cook for them at Nate's house; homeade burgers and BBQ chicken. We had a blast. I played another round with mom, Rick (my step-grandpa), and Nate; I did better, and shot 100, a good 100! We celebrated Nate's birthday, and I spent some quality time with my grandparents and of course, my darling nephew, Drew. I realized almost all anxiety and the PVCs were gone. Non-existent. I felt great. I visited Chris again, had a good time again, then went to my apartment to grab some items to give to Rachel's family. I got on the road again...

Another stop in Matthews. Another too short of a stop and too little time spent with Pami. I gave her a few books...and we had another great talk and a hug that was sincere and much needed by the both of us. The next day, while driving home, Chris called me. She said she could tell I was feeling different, and not in a good way. She was right. Going back to Ohio was depressing. It was upsetting because I knew I would be faced with Rachel's death again, head on. I know I have to be here; for my own support and for the support of Rachel's and my family and friends. However, being around where she died and being around all of the memories takes a toll on me. Two months out I realize that my journey is still very early in it's timeline. A lot of people think I should be better, or less depressed. I have better days. But all I can say is it is like a roller coaster sometimes.

I go to the Catholic Renewal at St. Patrick's in Hubbard. It is the most powerful and meaningful two days of my life. I find out about love, forgiveness, honesty, faith, and realize that I am not alone in my suffering and that there are so many people with me in love and faith. It was so powerful, when they asked me to say a reflection at the end of the weekend after the closing mass, this is what I said:

"...if the Lord is with me who can be against me...Romans 8:31...I have been going through a Renewal of my faith since January 15th, 2009. I came into this weekend with an open mind and a bruised but open heart. I have heard many amazing stories of faith; faith that has waned, faith that has returned; faith that has carried people through hard times every bit as difficult as mine. We all have something in common during this renewal. We have all been through hard times, We have all either ignored, forgot about, or haven't accepted Him in our lives. In that same breath, we also have found God, realized and remembered his presence, and have accepted him in our lives. Many people have complimented me on my strength and faith and the inspiration they have received form me. You may have noticed that as I bear the weight of the cross of pain that i have been carrying, you do not see a strain on my face. We show the strain of carrying and bearing the weight of our crosses when we carry them alone. My family and friends, I do not bear the weight of my cross alone. All of you here with me (and God) have helped me bear the weight of my cross. When you have the support I have had and still have, the weight of the cross is easy to bear. That is why you see no strain on my face. As many of you have heard in one of Fr. Tim's homilies, one of Rachel's surgeons, Dr. Walt Lee, told us: 'Those who make it through the hard times and in essence 'bear the weight of the cross' do it by relying on the three Fs: Faith, Family, and Friends. This weekend during Renewal, I have seeked the Lord, and I have found Him. I have found Him in each and every one of you: my Faith, my Family, and my Friends. I thank you for inspiring me and helping me bear the weight of the cross, and renewing my faith in God. Your Brother in Christ, Rich Possert Jr."

My journey is far from over. These last few weeks have been the most healing of my life. They happened when I needed them the most. When I felt I had nothing to live for, no purpose, these three weeks showed me that I have a purpose, a reason to live. Along them lines, if you have made it this far, I am going to give you a link to a Relay for Life that is being done in (Youngstown) Liberty, Ohio on May 15th, 2009. Our team name is Team Rachel. I ask that you visit our team page and donate to our cause in her name, by going to my page, linked below. If not, please offer us your prayers and even coming to celebrate this with us if you are in the area. For more info, contact me and I will give you what you need. Just about all of the info is on the team's page; which is linked below. Thanks for helping in any way you can; and thank you for helping me bear the weight of my cross. God bless every last one of you.

Rachel's Team Page: http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY09OH?team_id=440218&pg=team&fr_id=16654&fl=en_US&et=G4ucdU07Fimr34p_BZ_yQA..&s_tafId=338124

My Personal Page: http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY09OH?px=10176312&pg=personal&fr_id=16654

It's Been a While...

I know it has been quite a while since I have posted...while I will not pass on all 0f my "excuses" for not writing, I can tell you all that I have had some interesting things happen physically in the past few weeks.

On Super Bowl Sunday, I had a major anxiety attack. I seriously thought I was dying of a heart attack. I had a few smaller ones throughout that day. I went to the doctors the next day and was prescribed Xanax and Zoloft. I'm also seeing a psychologist as well (on my own accord). I have had these things called PVCs (Premature Ventricular Contractions) where my heart skips a beat as well. I have had to wear a monitor for 24 hours this past week to make sure that they are related to stress and anxiety and not some other more serious physical problem.

I find that now, six weeks after Rachel's passing, I have been riding on a roller coaster of emotions. Sadness (of course); anger, guilt, lonesomeness, helplessness, and many others. I have tried moving on sometimes I think too fast. I am a very inquisitive and analytical person. I blame that one my almost 15 years in the Navy. While Rachel was sick I made sure I knew the defination and cause and effect of every single symptom and or diagnosis that the doctors or nurses gave to me. I now have continued to do that on myself; I knew what the PVCs were before I went to the doctor's office and had him tell me from looking at an EKG. The unfortunate thing here is my analytical ways have just been another way of inflating the internal balloon that is my anxiety level. I was not letting myself grieve. I was not letting myself release the emotions pent up inside of me; instead I was putting up a facade of I'm doing okay, everything is fine, etc. Well, the balloon burst.

For the last couple of weeks especially, I kept telling myself that I seriously needed a woman, friend or not, to do nothing but hold me all night. Someone to comfort me and plutonicly satisfy an urge I have come to know is called "skin hunger". Well after talking to more than a few women and realizing where I am at in my grieving process, I understand completely that this is my longing for Rachel to be here with me and my need for her to hold me (and the associated sadness in knowing that she cannot physically be here to do that). Among all of her beautiful ways; the smile, the sense of humor, the vivality; she had an amazing way of bringing us comfort by how she held us. Anyone who receieved a hug from Rach felt something from it. I don't just mean physically either. It was a hug, a hold, that went straight to your heart and soul. It was a way for her to give you something that she could not give to you verbally or visually. It was a way for you to enjoy her spiritual gift she was giving to you. Near the end of my eulogy for Rach at her funeral mass, one of the things I said was for every person (mind you the number of people there was approaching 1,000) to turn to each other and hug each other and tell them you loved them. This was something that only came to me as I knelt beside her body for the last time before they closed the casket. It was her way of channeling through me one last hug and I love you to each and every person there. She knew that out of the thousand people at her funeral mass, only a handful actually were able to get that from her before she passed; I felt like she succeded in ensuring everyone knew it was her; I watched in melancholy happiness as the entire church attendance gave each other what she wanted them to have.

I am not going to lecture or even post anything about melanoma in this entry. This entry is more related to love and love lost. Read how I am feeling. Read how you would feel. Take that emotion and use it to be a better husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, son, daughter, brother, sister, cousin, or friend. Don't take love and emotions and feelings for granted. Don't be afraid to show your feelings, and when someone shows you theirs, take them and let them touch your heart and soul like Rachel was able to touch ours.

For those of you who need that someone; that friend, that someone to show you what I am describing, contact me. Part of my life's goals are not only to pass on education and awareness of Rachel's illness, but to pass on the love and joy she always brought to everyone she came into contact with. May God bless you all...and I know it may be off of the subject of this post in general, but please say some prayers for my friend Linda Ramirez, who is suffering from stage IV melanoma like Rachel did. Pray for all cancer patients. Pray for all widows and widowers, no matter what age they may be. Pray for your families and friends. Pray for thanks for what we have in our lives.