There is Hope if You Let Yourself "Just Be"

Happy New Year to everyone! I've been off of the blog world for a while; God's plan for me has taken me to places I never thought imaginable about 5 years ago when my world fell apart after losing Rachel to melanoma. As we make our way into 2014, I want to share with you some advice learned through personal encounters and life events that I hope will give you hope; hope when you have encountered tragedy, loss, grief, frustration, sadness, or whatever painful experiences you have been faced with.

Melanoma, and cancer in general, can rip us apart. It can destroy our faith in God, in medical professionals, and even in ourselves. To see someone you love dearly dying and not being able to do anything is crushing to the soul. Those of you who have read this blog over the last five years have seen the path that Rachel and I and her family have taken. You have seen the hurt, the loss, and the grief we have experienced. Thankfully, you have seen the blessings, the miracles, and the beauty we have also experienced due to our faith and love of God and one another. I implore all of you to take our experiences as well as the good and bad experiences you've had and make yourself a promise to always look for the positive. In the last five years of our lives, we have come so far, and our faith has been such a big part of that. Those of us who have been touched by Rachel's life and love and knowing that there is an angel looking out for all of us has been a guiding light leading us to where we are now, and continues to be a beacon leading us through the present into a bright future.You have heard me discuss our core values of Faith, Family, and Friends (those 3 F's!), but here is something else that has kept me going since those dark times in 2009. That something I know as: Just Be.

Shortly after Rachel's passing, Fr. Tim O'Neill, our pastor at St. Patrick's Catholic Church in Hubbard, OH, talked with us and told us what it means to "Just Be". Father Tim has brought the concept of "Just Be" to many people via his homilies and sermons in church and I even read about him discussing this years ago as a young Jesuit Priest to a young athlete from reading the biography of a local world champion boxer, Ray Mancini, called "The Good Son" by Mark Kriegel. What a simple, yet powerful statement that is. Just Be. Two words. One sentence. Many meanings.

Just Be. Have you ever just sat somewhere and taken in what is all around you? Smelled the air, looked at the scenery, thought about what is good in your life? How many times do you focus on the negative and what worries you have? When you try and Just Be, you take a break from all of those external stressors and focus on what good is in your life. You have heard me discuss miracles in previous posts. I'll say this again: Most miracles that we experience we are blind to because we are not looking for them or we don't consider them miracles. We are looking for the "big story" miracles; you know, the ones that you read in magazines and newspapers. We fail most of the time to see what miracles are happening because we can't see the forest for the trees! Just Be. Give yourself time to sit back and relax. Close your eyes. Focus on the miracles that you have experienced today. The sunrise, your children, your parents, the love people have for you - these are commonly missed miracles! Let the good in your life (I promise no matter how bad things may be there are positives there!) take over your mind. Focus on how no matter how hard things have been for you, you have made it through, although maybe scarred or injured emotionally or physically. Your being here through it all is a good example of the concept of Just Be.

Five years ago, I was a man who had lost his way in life, through the tragedy of losing his amazing and beautiful wife. I had lost my way and had no compass to guide me through life. I was a ship without sails caught in many turbulent currents surrounded by heavy seas and torrential storms. Many of these storms were of my own creation. I tried so hard to make things right, to re-create my life to make it the way it was. I never heard of the "Just Be" concept. I was more of a "Just Try" or "Just Maybe" sort of guy. I made some rash and sometimes horrible decisions. It took a strong faith renewed by my brothers and sisters in Christ to give me a compass. It took the concept of "Just Be" to give me my sails. I realized I am part of something bigger. I am in the world. I am one of God's children. I am a miracle. I am surrounded by miracles. I am me. I am a gift. I have been blessed with countless gifts. I have faith, faith that can carry me through the depths of hell! Deep breath, and there I am, doing just what God wants me to be in Him, with Him, and through Him. Just Be.

Now as I make my way forward with all of you, my family and friends, I look at the importance and the impact of Just Be in my life. I have remarried; she is a beautiful woman who accepts and understands my past, and has an unshakable faith in God like I do, and her name is Kristy. I have just witnessed the birth of our first child, a young girl we named Reyanne Beverly Possert. Life has not always been easy. It is sometimes very hard. But here I am, and here we are. Join me in this beautiful world full of miracles and realize that in order to lose ourselves in the good in our lives and move forward through the hard times, we must sometimes Just Be. I wish all of you blessings and miracles in your lives. You are a miracle, you are loved. Just Be.

Inspiration. It's All Around Us.

Yeah. That's right. Why haven't I been blogging more often? Is it because I am limiting myself to the more short-attention span focused mini-blogging sites like Facebook and Twitter? Well, not exactly. Yes, I have been all over them; posting many different things, good, bad, indifferent. What's the common bond between all the things I have been up to everywhere but here lately?

Inspiration.

Let's see. It has been a at least a couple of months since I have posted on here. That doesn't mean I haven't wanted to. I just didn't have the inspiration to actually write an entire entry. The things I have been through in the past few months have all together been some of the most refreshing, spiritual, fulfilling, meaningful, and most of all needed things I've experienced in years. You all know what happened five months ago. You all have seen the transformation in my tone, my personality, and my faith. What could possibly be so inspirational that it takes a human being and changes them so drastically (in a good way)?

As I have wrote in the blog before, the support of literally thousands of people is one of the things that never ceases to amaze me. Now that I have run the gamut of pain, anguish, sadness, etc., and seen how everyone was there for me, I now have seen how everyone responds to those who have gone through what I have. It's like a waterfall. Water keeps falling over the edge, because of gravity, yet it is beautiful. People, without thinking, jump into the act of supporting, consoling, loving someone who needs it. The numero uno most important thing I think God has blessed us with as humans is LOVE. When we start losing our faith, what should we do? How can we get it back? When we are surrounded by hate, death, sin, illness, etc., how can we have faith?

Have you looked in the eyes of your loved one(s) lately? Your children, your husband or wife, your parents, your siblings, your friends? When is the last time you heard the words "I Love You", coming out of their mouth or yours? Have you experienced unconditional love? I have. I don't always need to hear it to know it is there. It's nice, of course, to hear the words, but they are only words. Think about when you were sad for whatever reason, and someone said, "Hey, you okay? You want to talk about it"? Think about the last time you were upset; a funeral, the ending of a relationship, a big move to another city, a lost job...did you have someone offer to help? Did anyone come and hug you or try to make you feel better with a joke or a nice comment? My friends, all of the above is love. We may not be thinking we are giving love to others by doing those simple things, but we are. We inspire each other so much without even knowing it. Isn't that beautiful?

I had a few talks with some good friends on faith. I have also been deep in discussion with a few friends on how to work through problems in your relationships. I always striven for my marriage to Rachel to be inspirational to others. I wanted people to look at how our relationship was and to try and emulate it. Well, of course, that is something now that can only be done by people reading about how we were; of course the folks who have known us throughout or lives and relationship can use their memories of our marriage for guidance. I learned some important things in life through my time on Earth with Rach. I learned that while walking forward you should never turn your back and look behind you, and you should never try and sprint ahead too far into the future. Live in the present and pace yourself. Don't try to hurry through the bad times by looking at the end of them; focus on making the bad times good. Time goes fast when we are having fun because we are not focusing on the end of them. Don't keep score. Don't count how many bad things you have done or what your partner has done. Wipe the board clean every day. God has done that for us. Watch this video on having regrets:



I know sometimes life can be hard. I of all people know that. But, we have so much around us to lean on. We have so much around us to inspire us. We have so many around to be there for us. Use each other when you need to. I'm here for every last one of you. I pray I can inspire each of you like you inspire me.